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You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When...

* Your potted plants stay alive. * Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd * You keep more food than beer in the fridge. * 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to sleep * You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work * You carry an umbrella * You watch the weather channel * Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and break up * You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7 * Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up" * You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo * Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you * You don't know what time Taco Bell closes * Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up * You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds * Sleeping on the couch is a no-no * You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM * Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one. * MTV News is no longer your primary source for information * You go to the drugstore for ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits. * A $4 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff" * You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time * Grocery lists are longer than macaroni and cheese, diet Pepsi and HoHos * "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again" * Over 90% of the time you spend in front of the computer is for real work * You don't get liquored up at home to save money before going to a bar