This is a Top5 list. You can go to www.topfive.com to see this sort of humor on a daily basis. Enough said. - -david Gateway to Iowa ================================================================== C L U B T O P 5 [Ooh - it's extra special -d.g.] ================================================================== November 11, 1999 The Top 15 Upcoming Thanksgiving-Themed Movies 15> To Kill A Walking Bird 14> My Best Friend's Dressing 13> Thighs Wide Shut 12> The Texas Coleslaw Massacre 11> Casserolablanca 10> The Fabulous Baster Boys 9> 12 Hungry Men 8> Silence of the Yams 7> For Love of The Game Hen 6> I Know What You Ate Last Winter 5> All the President's Menu 4> White Meat Can't Jump 3> When Harry Met Salad 2> The Story of U.S. and Topfive.com's Number 1 Upcoming Thanksgiving-Themed Movie... 1> The Wing and I [ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 1999 by Chris White ] ================================================================== "Kids' Table" and "Dork Meat" The Runners Up and Honorable Mention submissions for today's list come later in this message. ================================================================== Selected from 142 submissions from 53 contributors. Today's Top 5 List authors are: - ------------------------------------------------------------------ Martell Stroup, Boston, MA -- 1 (7th #1) Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 2 Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA -- 3 Jeffrey Anbinder, Ithaca, NY -- 4 Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 5 Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 6 Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA -- 7 Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 8 (Hall of Famer) Tim McKemy, Chandler, AZ -- 8 Diana Salisbury, Chicago, IL -- 8 JB Leibovitch, Oakland, CA -- 9 Lisa Lavoie, Waltham, MA -- 10 Mitch Berg, Saint Paul, MN -- 11 Jonathan D. Colan, Miami, FL -- 12 (Hall of Famer) Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 13 Ann Rosenfeld, Austin, TX -- 14 Scott Sistek, Seattle, WA -- 15, HM list name Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Topic Wendy Zumpano, Gurnee, IL -- Banner tag Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- RU name (Hall of Famer) Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Alanis Morissette, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada -- Ambience ================================================================== The Runners Up & Honorable Mention submissions Runners up were almost good enough to make the main list, but got edged out by other submissions. Honorable mentions were good enough to still deserve some recognition. - ------------------------------------------------------------------ Upcoming Thanksgiving-Themed Movies RUNNERS UP list -- Kids' Table - ------------------------------------------------------------------ A Clockwork Duck a la 'Orange (Diana Salisbury, Chicago, IL) Aunt Sophie's Cranberries of Wrath (John Treusch, Burlington, NJ) Butch Cranberry and the Sunyams Kid (Jeffrey Anbinder, Ithaca, NY) Carving Private Ryan (Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY) Das Gravy Boat (Martell Stroup, Boston, MA) Episode One: The Tryptophantom Menace (Kevin Freels, Burbank, CA) Giblet Goes Hawaiian (Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX) Invasion of the Gravy Snatchers (Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC) Jurassic Pork (Mitch Berg, Saint Paul, MN) McHale's Gravy (Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY) Native American Beauty (Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN) Princess Monoturke (Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA) The Turkeys are Coming! The Turkeys are Coming! (Mark Weiss, Austin, TX) The Unbearable Tightness of Overeating (Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA) Whose Leg Is It Anyway? (Jonathan D. Colan, Miami, FL) Runner Up list name (Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA) - ------------------------------------------------------------------ Upcoming Thanksgiving-Themed Movies HONORABLE MENTION list -- Dork Meat - ------------------------------------------------------------------ The Sixth Serving (Jennifer Bieneman, Grand Rapids, MI) (Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA) (Kevin Freels, Burbank, CA) Austin Powers: The Thigh That Gagged Me (Scott Sistek, Seattle, WA) Bang the Drumstick Slowly (Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA) (Felicia Watson, Colorado Springs, CO) Bringing Out the Spread (Jim Key, Garland, TX) Butterball Express (Martell Stroup, Boston, MA) Dead Parts Society (Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA) Debbie Does Drumsticks (Joe DiPietro, Brooklyn, NY) Full Metal Hatchet (Dave Henry, Slidell, LA) Jackie Chan and Chow Yun-Fat in "Giblets of Death" (Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN) My Own Private Idaho Potatoes, Mashed Just The Way I Like Them (Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA) Rear Windblow (Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC) Rebel Without a Drumstick (Kevin Hawley, Fairless Hills, PA) Smoked Turkey and the Bandit (Eric Huret, Atlanta, GA) The Right Stuffing (Larry Baum, Hong Kong) (Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA) The Thomas Brown 'N' Serve Affair (Chris Walker, Calimesa, CA) The Wish Bone Collector (Peg Warner, Exeter, NH) (Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA) (Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA) (John Treusch, Burlington, NJ) (Diana Salisbury, Chicago, IL) There's Something About Gravy (Bill Muse, Seattle, WA) (Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA) Three Wings (Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY) (Lisa Lavoie, Waltham, MA) (Ann Rosenfeld, Austin, TX) True Pies (Lisa Lavoie, Waltham, MA) Why don't you grow a backbone and talk to your abusive uncle about his drinking problem, Charlie Brown? (John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA) Honorable Mention list name (Scott Sistek, Seattle, WA) ================================================================== ~~~~ The http://www.Amused.com Too Much Fun Link of the Day! ~~~ The Lipstick Librarian She's bold! She's sassy! She's helpful! http://www.teleport.com/~petlin/liplib/ ================================================================== --==++ Ruminations ++==-- Sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much -- 'cause you've put on quite a few pounds, there, baby. (Chris Malysiak) If I pick MY nose in MY cubicle, does it really matter where I put the results? (Craig Brown) My uncle, who works as a White House mechanic, was accused by President Clinton of not changing his oil. Luckily, my uncle saved the coveralls with the oil stain on it. (Anna Chin Williams) -=+=--=+=- BAD Rumination of the Day (Submitted *as is* to the Ruminations list) If you had a cow for every time someone farted, you'd have a lot of beef. (Philihp Busby) ================================================================== TOP5 -- The Home of Original Humor http://www.topfive.com - ------------------------------------------------------------------ The Top 5 List (original lists) [email protected] Top5 Classic (greatest hits) [email protected] Mr. Monologue (topical humor) [email protected] Ruminations (odd thoughts) [email protected] The Daily Probe (news satire) [email protected] The Whack Report (real stories) [email protected] The Kid Report (kid stories) [email protected] - ------------------------------------------------------------------ C L U B T O P 5 ================================================================== _____________________________________________________________ Receiving this post in your inbox? You can read it on the Web at Topica. Just register and go to "Your Lists" page. It's that easy. http://www.topica.com/t/6